All couples evolve, and so do sexual relationships with them. Sexual desire is normal as it depends on countless factors that are unique to each (biological, psychological, emotional) and countless factors that are unique to life changes that affect couples (responsibility, children, financial issues, etc.).
However, if this affects a relationship when sexual desire is low, it should be done to identify the cause and prevent irreparable damage. In this article, we explore the causes and important strategies to tackle them.
Three Years of Crisis
When we fall in love, our desire for others wipes us out as if it was a drug. In a sense, it is due to the novelty and cocktails of hormones that flood our brains, especially the brains of serotonin (the neurotransmitter that regulates sexual desire).
Serotonin levels rise very rapidly, creating happiness and happiness, as well as highs induced by drugs such as ecstasy and LSD, leading to a form of addiction.
Serotonin is also associated with other neurotransmitters and hormones, such as dopamine, norepinephrine, phenylethylamine, oxytocin (“love hormone”), and testosterone. This explains why couples often can’t stand apart (or leave bed) at the start of a relationship.
However, this high hormone has an expiration date – about 3 years. Around this time, many couples face the initial crisis, wondering whether they are no longer in love or the decline of desires could mark the end of their relationship. However, this does not have to be true unless their bond is based solely on sexual pleasure and enjoyment.
When there is a solid foundation of desire, love, kindness, friendship, accomplice, praise (in other words, love), relationships continue to evolve at a deeper level.
What lack of desire do you experience?
If your relationship is established and one or both of you experience a very low sex drive that affects your connection, The first question to ask is whether this lack of desire is common or is it between the two of you?
If there is a decrease in desire Generalyou may be experiencing it Sexual Interest Disorders in Women or Low-active sexual desire disorder in men. These dysfunctions are characterized by sexual activity, erotic thinking, a decreased interest in fantasy, and lack of response to sexual stimuli – physical (such as lack of lubrication or erection or erection problems) or mental/emotional effects.
Men and women experience these disorders differently, but their origins are Physiological, psychological, emotionalor a combination of three and a strong hormonal ingredient.
- With a womanvariation Estrogen levels (Major female sex hormones) affect not only physical awakening (elasticity and lubrication), but also mental awakening. Estrogens are linked to “happiness neurotransmitters” (endorphins, oxytocin, serotonin). In other words, the higher the level, the higher the sexual desire, and vice versa.
- With a manthe most important cause of loss or lack of sexual desire is Low testosterone levels – The major male hormones involved in the regulation of arousal and sexual desire.
Hormonal variability can therefore affect sexual interest and arousal Temporarily or over time.
What causes these hormone changes?
- Stages of natural life: Andropause, menopause, pregnancy.
- Illness and dysfunction: Vascular, heart, and nervous system diseases, diabetes, endometriosis, pelvic floor dysfunction, vaginitis, hypogonadism, vaginal dryness, genital surgery (episiotomy, etc.), fatigue, anxiety, depression, etc.
- medicine: Antidepressants, anticonvulsants, blood pressure drugs, opioids, chemotherapy.
- Harmful habits: Especially alcohol, smoking and poor diet.
If there is a lack of sexual desire GeneralIt is important to identify the root cause and meet a doctor who receives appropriate treatment.
However, if the condition or medication is not responsible, or if there is a lack of desire Only in relationsother factors may be at play.
Communication problems
The most common complaints about couple therapy are Lack of communication And the psychological, emotional and sexual issues it creates, such as frustration, responsiveness, low self-esteem, anxiety, emotional distancing, and reduced sexual desire.
One of The lost cause of desire in relationships is anger or resentment Towards a partner – whether it is overly critical, demanding, dominant, passive or indifferent, whether it is to ignore needs. If left unresolved, this could ultimately lead to breakup.
Painful outcomes that can be avoided Assertive communication – Review, criticize, make assumptions, and express yourself directly, balanced, sincere, and respectfully, without criticizing others. Instead, assertive communication involves respecting and empathizing with your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and needs.
therefore, First Step It is to prevent and resolve conflicts in relations Openly express thoughts, feelings, desires (including sexual things) (and enable partners to express them) Looking for mutually beneficial solutions.
Stereotypes and sex education
Pornography and restrictive or nonexistent sex education produced Harmful stereotypes It meets us with trauma, fear, and unrealistic expectations we need to eliminate.
- woman They are attacked with negative messages about sexuality, the right to enjoy it, and the “appropriate” age to do so.
- male They have been taught to associate their masculinity and identity with sexual performance, penetration and orgasm.
This leads to a general problem.
- For menthe fear of not playing as expected contributes to low desire and erectile dysfunction.
- For womenguilt for feeling sexual desire and physical anxiety (rethinking how you look during sex) contributes to the low desire and difficulties of reaching orgasm.
It’s important for men Redefine “sexual performance” – It’s not about imitating a porn scene. Women must, in turn, stop thinking of them as “strange” or “messy” to let go of their guilt and embrace natural sexuality.
live Healthy and fulfilling Sex life, we must Replace negative conditioning with a message that normalizes sexuality and celebrates it as natural and rich.
Lack of indifference and eroticism
Over time, many people lose interest in eroticism and sexual play. They are less imagination, less aggressive, stop fantasy and lose their excitement for what once turned them on.
One reason is Lack of sexual stimulation – When we are too focused on other issues, we will not realize that otherwise ignite our desires. This creates a vicious circle:The less sexual stimuli we provide to the brain, the less it is and the greater sexual indifference.
To break this cycle, you need to It inspires our hearts – Erotic literature and film, flirty conversation, touch, kissing, sexual exploration alone with your partner.
Stress, fatigue, and routine
Work demands, financial struggles, parenting, housework… Living in a fast-paced, demanding society will drain us, weaken us, and even make us sick. Stress, anxiety, fatigue, and lack of sleep can hurt our happiness, make it difficult to enjoy life, and affect sexual desires and arousal.
To fight this, Prioritize Emergency tasks, Delegation Responsibility, and Make time for the neglected aspects of your life It is essential to emotional balance.
Couples are also needed Create space for their relationship – Separate from work, family and social obligations. It strengthens intimacy and enriches your sex life. Through love, laughter, kindness, and connection.
Simple action can help – plan a romantic getaway, engage in activities together, make special dinners, and hug them while watching the show… Cultivate your relationship to prevent monotony.
Final thoughts
that’s right usually For sexual desire to fluctuate, if it becomes a problem, it is essential to identify the cause and address it. Communication, respect, love. Sometimes, specialist help (medical or therapeutic) is needed. Your love deserves it.
