Being a dysfunctional family member can lead to stress and low self-esteem. Therefore, you will learn how to deal with dysfunctional families.
There’s no perfect family! However, there are healthy families where all members feel safe and comfortable expressing their needs, thoughts and feelings. Some families have members with unresolved issues. Perhaps we could have glimpsed our dysfunctional families in films and TV shows. Dysfunctional families can affect the mental health of their members. If the family doesn’t have enough stability and support to raise their members, they can suffer from mental health challenges. Living in a dysfunctional family can be stressful, affecting your self-esteem, and creating sadness and loneliness. However, there are ways to deal with dysfunctional families.
What is a dysfunctional family?
Disrupted family structures resulting from consistent conflict, misunderstanding, or abuse are known as dysfunctional families. A healthy family is a family that provides emotional, psychological, or social support to members, especially their children. “But when families fail to meet such needs and lack support and stability to their members, families often fail,” says psychiatrist Dr. Ashish Bansal.
There are many causes of dysfunctional families. Some of them are:
- One of the parents suffering from depression and personality disorders. Such parents may not be able to provide a supportive and loving atmosphere for their children.
- Sometimes parents are involved in substance abuse and excessive alcohol consumption, which can be a blow to the family’s lives.
- There are certain unresolved experiences in the past. For example, their own neglect of childhood, and this may replicate in their own parenting patterns.
- Some families are not social and do not have strong bonds with large family members or friends. They can even find it difficult to deal with their interpersonal family life.
- One member of the family can be very control or dominant, which can cause power imbalances within the family.
- It can communicate certain dysfunctional behaviors of abuse, misunderstanding, lack of communication, and negligence to the generation line.
What are the signs of a dysfunctional family?
Don’t know if you’re part of a dysfunctional family? Here are some signs:
1. Lack of communication
In dysfunctional families, their members often find it difficult to communicate their feelings and thoughts. This lack of speech often leads to years of res and conflict, and ultimately breaks family ties. “The lack of communication further strains relationships with passive comments given by families, such as provocations and cynical statements,” the expert says.
2. Reversal of roles
Sometimes parents start to look forward to their children for emotional support that puts unnecessary pressure on them. In certain situations, children are forced to act as adults by caring for their siblings, which can place them under stress and anxiety.
3. Addiction members
If one of your family is involved in any type of substance abuse, it can disrupt your own family life. It can also lead to relationships, financial crisis and instability in emotional roller coaster rides.
4. neglect
Dysfunctional family members cannot meet basic needs such as food, clothing, shelters, or even medical care. Parents and guardians may not be emotionally available to provide adequate love and support to their children.
Why is it bad for your mental health to live in a family with dysfunction?
Children who grow up in dysfunctional families can develop mental illness. A study published in 2023 in Parenting in Modern Society shows that treatment can cause mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
Living in a dysfunctional family can be a blow to your mental health in the following ways:
- Families whose structures are destroyed can have unpredictable conflicts and create an unstable atmosphere. This can cause high levels of stress within the family.
- If families continue to criticize and disregard each other, it can lead to low self-esteem.
- When families feel ignored, especially emotionally, can create sadness and loneliness.
- Years of physical or mental abuse within a family can cause trauma. This can further show symptoms of emotional numbness, flashbacks, and nightmares.
- If emotions are not recognized while living in a family, it can disrupt a person’s emotional well-being. Regulating feelings of anger and frustration can be difficult.
What ways to deal with dysfunctional families?
There are ways to deal with dysfunctional families.
1. Set boundaries
You need to know which family nature will affect your mental health the most. When setting boundaries, communicate to your family in a calm and peaceful way.
2. Self-care
Practice yoga, calm and relax. You can also pursue your hobbies and join a group of friends who support you. Find a place where you feel most comfortable in solitude.
3. Focus on future plans
Rather than constantly thinking about your family issues, I look forward to your personal growth. “Focus on your plan of how you want your life,” suggests Dr. Bansal.
4. Limit contacts if necessary
If you find that certain members of your family are toxic, try to avoid interacting with them by trying to reduce the frequency of visiting them or limiting conversations with them. Your overall focus should be directed at positive members of your family who support you.
5. Communication is important
If you want to balance your dysfunctional family, you need to know the art of communication to express your emotions without blaming others. Listening is equally important, so be an active speaker as well as a listener.
6. Practice emotional separation
Learn the art of emotionally separating yourself from the conflicts happening in your family. Separation does not mean that compassion should be stopped, and we should not allow emotions to be affected very easily. It is important to remain neutral during family conflicts.
7. Know your happy place
Find activities that will bring joy and relaxation to you. It could be reading, painting, singing, playing musical instruments, etc. This will deflect you from your stressful situation. Emotions can sometimes be expressed very easily through creative things, such as writing or drawing.
8. Be well educated
Read specific books, articles, or online resources to learn more about the dynamics of dysfunctional families. This will help you get some sense of the situation and realize that you are not alone.
9. Create a support system
Surround yourself with friends and family who support you, understand, love you, and who will give you positive feelings. Whether it’s your personal or professional life, look for a mentor who can guide you whenever you get caught up in a stressful situation.
10. Please ask for help
If it’s difficult to process or deal with your own emotions, try asking your therapist for help for a better emotional understanding. “If your family is standing up for it, you can even go to family therapy,” the expert says.
Living in a dysfunctional family can be challenging and can affect your mental health. Therefore, creating a support system and focusing on communication with families is important to dealing with dysfunctional families.
