Want to try a situationship? Check out its pros and cons

Even friends with profit or booty appeals, there are various terms that describe romantic arrangements with no commitment. Another term that takes over the Internet is situation. It’s an emotional or physical bond you have with someone, but prefer not to give a label. There are regular meetups, physical intimacy, emotional connections, but there is no formal commitment in this kind of placement. Aside from mutual commitments, there are no shared future goals or established boundaries. If you want to be intimate but don’t commit, you may want to film the situation.

What is the situation?

It is the grey area between friendship and commitment. “It’s a romantic entanglement in which both parties share emotional and often physical intimacy, but deliberately avoid defining their connection,” shares Dr. Chandni Tugnai, psychotherapist and life coach. Most often, people in a situation are emotional and sexual investments, even when there is a commitment issue, according to a study published in Sexuality and Culture in 2024.

Unlike traditional relationships, situations are about implicit rules and comfortable ambiguity. Going through research, many young people are happy with this kind of romantic arrangement. A survey published in the 2024 Partner Universal Innovation Journal found that nearly 50% of people aged 18 to 29 are involved in the situation.

How do you know if you are in a situation?

This is a subtle indication of the situation:

• Inconsistent communication patterns: Unlike defined relationships where regular communication is available, situations often have sporadic text messages and unpredictable response times. A period of constant contact may lead to a period of silent silence.
• Lack of future plans: Conversations rarely venture beyond immediate plans. While we discuss the future, there is a noticeable hesitation and ambiguity, whether it’s next month’s concert or holiday planning. “This reflects a long-term commitment to a relationship or a deliberate avoidance of an investment,” experts say.
• Few meetings with family and friends: The so-called relationships exist alone. We rarely see each other’s friends or family. This will introduce you to a clear label or as a “friend.” This suggests that you and the person have an option open.
• Emotional availability in terms: The connection runs deep, but only if it is convenient for both people. This selective intimacy shows a reluctance to assume full relationship responsibility.
• Undefined Exclusiveness: There is an implicit understanding of meeting others, but it is not explicitly discussed. This often leads to internal conflicts over loyalty and commitment expectations.
• Weekend-centered connections: Most interactions take place during leisure or weekends and rarely extend to routines of daily life. “This pattern suggests that relationships function as escape and comfort rather than integration of life,” says Dr. Tugnait.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of the situation?

This is the pro for being in the situation:

• Emotional freedom: This kind of setup offers emotional intimacy without the weight of expectations. “The freedom to experience intimacy while maintaining personal space allows for self-discovery and growth without the constraints of relationships,” experts say.
• Schedule flexibility: Without a formal commitment, you can prioritize your goals on professional life, personal interests, or other aspects of life, without feeling guilty about ignoring your partner’s obligations.
• Low pressure: The lack of traditional relationship milestones deprives the stress of meeting social or family expectations. There is no pressure to integrate life, meet parents, or plan for the future.
• A space for healing: If you are recovering from past relationship trauma, the situation serves as a gentle reintroduction of intimacy without complete emotional vulnerability.

Here are the disadvantages of being in the situation:

• Emotional uncertainty: “The lack of clear boundaries often leads to anxiety and confusion,” experts say. Questions about exclusivity, future possibilities, and true emotions can lead to mental stress.
• Unequal investment: In many cases, some develop deeper emotions, while the other remains emotionally distant. This can lead to imbalances that can ultimately lead to heartache.
• Time investment risk: A few months or years of this kind of romantic arrangement may mean missing out on opportunities for meaningful relationships with others who share similar relationship goals.
• Emotional fatigue: Always working on undefined boundaries and implicit rules can be mentally draining. It can affect other areas of life, such as your work, relationships with your family, friendships, and more.

Is the situation healthy?

It mainly depends on the perception and emotional alignment of the parties involved. “When both individuals consciously choose this dynamic and maintain honest communication about their expectations, it can become a manageable arrangement,” says Dr. Tugnait.

However, when there is inconsistency in emotions and future expectations, it often becomes emotionally unhealthy. A study published in the 2023 Journal of Propulsion Technology found that lack of clarity and commitment in a situation can cause emotional, cognitive, and sexual distress, affecting overall well-being.

“It’s not inherently unhealthy, but it requires emotional management and honest self-reflection to prevent pain,” experts say.

How can I end the situation?

The key to ending this arrangement is at clear communication and solid boundaries despite the undefined nature of the connection. If it’s not working for you, here’s how to get out of it:

1. Direct conversation

Despite the casual nature of this romantic arrangement, choose direct communication over text. “Be clear about your feelings and decisions and avoid ambiguous statements that can leave room for confusion,” the experts suggest. For example, instead of saying, “I want space,” you say, “I decided to end this situation.”

2. I’ll accept reality

Be honest about why you’re finishing things with that person. Whether developing deeper emotions, doing emotional drainage, or simply wanting something different in your current life stage, expressing your true reasons provides both parties with a closure.

3. Set clear boundaries

Get out of the situation and establish your expectations after the end. Decide whether you will remain friends, need full distance, or prefer limited contacts. “We’re going to make these boundaries explicit and prevent them from going back to the old pattern,” experts say.

4. Maintain the distance

You may want to be friends later in life, but immediately after you finish the situation, create a physical and digital space. “This could mean being lifted on social media, avoiding common hangouts or taking a break from a gathering of mutual friends,” the expert says.

5. Practice self-care

I acknowledge that ending the situation can be hurt despite its informal status. Let them feel the emotions. “You can lean on friends and family and focus on your personal growth activities,” says the expert. Engage in activities that you enjoy as part of your self-care routine.

As for the situation, there is a connection in a comfortable but undefined space. If you are involved in it, you and others can maintain control over the level of investment and enjoy the benefits of intimacy. If you need more, communicate properly, set boundaries and exit.